Bad Break Up
“We had a very bad break up, how could I fix it?” is a very common question. Please don’t trick yourself with the addicting word, “bad”. Just face the fact that your relationship just ended.
What if you had a good break up? Imagine that your man who you spent a few years with you and who you loved to death invited you to a five start restaurant, giving you a present and saying, “you are the most beautiful and smart woman I’ve ever met, goodbye forever.” And you would answer “Thank you for the beautiful dinner, goodbye” and leave with a smile. Now that is what I call a happy end.
Well, I’m sure a “bad break up” for you means at least a couple of scratches on his face, throwing a few dozen items at him, a couple hundred curses, and a at least a thousand uses of the same words during “girls night out” describing his behavior and personality.
Now, stop blaming yourself and him for a second. You broke up. The end. This is not the end of your world, but the beginning of a new chapter in your life. Personally, I love break-ups. Not that I’m enjoying them as an activity, but I like to remove sad feelings and feel excited about the near future and a figurative new life. As soon as you emotionally clean up the space, something better will show up.
The end of an old relationship means a new and better relationship. While reading this, you might become angry and sarcastic. You might say “what is she talking about, he was my only chance because he is…blah blah blah.: Yes, if you will become negative, angry, non exceptive, self destructive, and a mean witch who can’t look at a happy couple, then I agree. You will continue to swim in an ocean of pity and negativity and there will be no future.
I keep repeating this phrase in each and every article on purpose. Like attracts like! That’s why, first of all, you have to stop using the word, “bad”. If you weren’t civil during the break up, it means that you need to do some work on your personality. And if you are serious about going towards happiness and meeting your true soulmate, then you will work on yourself.
But now your main goal is to get over the break up. And the first thing you’ll do is stop using word, “bad”. Time cures everything. You never know, maybe in six months you’ll see the person who you hit with a frying pan yesterday. You might be already wearing an engagement ring, you’ll apologize, and you both will laugh.
As soon as you stop using word, “bad”, you have to accept that a “break up” happened and it’s something you have to live with. Trust me, a break up isn’t any worse than an earthquake, immigration, or death. Many people live with those events and learn how be become happy again. If they could, you can too, it’s just a question of what you want. Being happy is a constant work, but it gives you happiness and joy. Being miserable is easy, but…you’ll be miserable.
The bottom line is that it does not matter what label your break up has. It happened and you have to become constructive.
Here are 5 things that you need to do in order not to feel bad about a “bad break up”
1) A break up is a break up and the labels, “good” and “bad”, won’t bring back your love.
2) Nothing lasts forever in this world.
3) You have to accept the fact that the break up took place. Acceptance will help you move on.
4) Even you didn’t behave like a lady, just forgive yourself. Learn your lesson and never repeat it again.
5) Every circumstance means different things for different people. For someone, “bad” means not getting a goodbye kiss and for someone else, “bad” means getting drunk and almost killing an ex. Just let it go. Life will straighten everything up, this is the purpose of life…
Mend Broken Heart – Good News, Read On
Has your heart just been broken…I have good news for you…it wasn’t your heart; it was that beautiful illusion that you created for yourself and believed in. It was a fairy tale inside your brain that you have been waiting to come true since you remember yourself being able to fall in love.
It feels good to create an illusion. According to the dictionary, illusion is “something many people believe in that is false”.
You think about the man who happens to be so different from all your other unfortunate experiences and in your own mind every day when he makes you feel good, you “make” him more and more attractive.
In a while, he becomes so perfect that you even can’t see him as real anymore. Plus, you absolutely do not want to face the reality; you like your own creation because it’s so close to that Prince Charming we all have been waiting for since preschool.
Did everything start with that intense click that was more like electricity between you two? And now you are sitting and thinking about the dozens of sweet, flirty, sexy text messages and phone calls you enjoyed so much.
Do you remember what happened to you when he said the words you have dreamed to hear for such a long time? And, of course, you lost your sense of reality right away…
Do you remember the feeling of relieve we women have when we realize that the dating game is over and we can have the relationships…real, normal, happy, and healthy relationships we are programmed to have…Our society, grandmothers, and mothers did a very destructive job by telling us that there is nothing more important than to “live happily ever after”…
However, let’s face the reality now (if you would like to move forward to real inner happiness you have to face it anyway). This great, amazing Prince Charming was created in your personal video game of imagination and all pain you feel now is because the “game is over.” Your illusion is broken, your ego is hurt, and your most hated dating game is still in the near future (unless you would like to give up forever).
Meeting a real man who would be everything we dreamed about is like using the aircraft for traveling – we all know that aircrafts exist but very few people actually were inside.
However, we can’t fight our female nature and kill the hope of complete happiness…We have to just…accept the situation, do a mental inventory, convince ourselves to move forward and…actually start moving.
You should not let your heart be broken. You have to train your heart 
and grow it so big that when a break up will occur (and nothing lasts forever in this life, remember?) you will be totally prepared to give up the piece of your heart to this man. You should be able to give him not only the part of your heart, but also a lot of your love without any regrets and hesitations.
When you will be able to do that, you’ll become wiser, better, and most importantly a more experienced person who would deserve to be loved more and more each time this happen. Then, eventually when you are truly and genuinely ready to love, to share, to give without being selfish, the Universe will send you the one…who will save you from that “dating game” for the rest of your life!
Mend Broken Heart – What Needs To Be Done?
Remember, YOUR HEART IS AS BROKEN AS YOU LET IT BE!
Have you ever thought about what EXACTLY “Mending a Broken Heart” means?
It’s very simpe. Think about what healing a broken leg means. Does it mean you can run again, wear beautiful hills, and have pedi with flowers? You don’t have to take painkilles, use a walker, and feel bad. You are almost there. This would be a RESULT of healing your broken leg. What would the processe? Well, to visit the doctor, place a cast, go through a healing rotine, and then start walking…slow, then faster, and only then run, dance in hills, and and wear the most seductive toe designs.
The same principles apply to mending a broken heart. Do you want to feel happy, enjoy every minute of your life, forget about a painful experience, meet your true love, and live happily ever after? Those are RESULTS. But in order to get your results, you have to go through the PROCESS of Mending a Broken Heart.
What needs to be done in order to Mend a Broken Heart?
1) You have to realize that you REALLY want to mend your broken heart. Do not smile sarcastically – I know people who just enjoy swimming in their misery because they get tons of attention this way. Their frends and family suddenly call them more often, bring them gifts, take them out, etc. As a result, a heart-broken person suddenly gets showered with attention and even though she says that she “wants to get over it”, subconciosly she does everything to stay where she is.
2) You have to accept the fact that healing your broken heart is a process. It won’t happen overnight and will require your own work. You can have all the guidance in the world, but you have to do your work yourself. It’s like losing weight. You have to hire a personal trainer and a nutritionist, but YOU are the one who has to go on a diet and exercise.
3) You have to stop listening to “experts” who suggests that giving yourself a little time to cry, miss your ex, and eat comfort food for a while is ok. They use this trick to keep your attention because it will make you feel not guilty as well as give you an extra excuse to keep waisting your time.
4) You have to stop discussing your break up with friends and family because it brings you back to negative mood.
5) You have to stop doing everything that makes you think about your former love; watch love movies, listen to romantic music etc. You should figure out what brings you positive emotions and stick to this. If it’s comedy movies – watch them every day.
6) And the most important thing you have to understand is like attracts like – in order for you to get positive events in your life you have to find positive things in EVERYTHING that is going on in your life as well as in EVERYBODY who surrounds you. You have to accept the world the way it is and stop willing to change it.
I went through series of break ups till I figured out the formula that really works but the most significant case of broken heart took about 3 years to heal. Now two weeks is enough to move forward and accept the situation as a great experience. Remember, the more positive you will be, the better surprises life will bring to you. And guess what? The person who broke your heart is not your true love, he is just “training equipment” that you used in order to meet YOUR REAL TRUE LOVE.
