Friends With Ex

“Can I remain friends with my ex? ”

Well, you can do whatever you would like to do after break up because you have only one life and it’s your choice how to live your life after the end of relationships.

But please, don’t trick yourself. Asking about being friends with your ex, women most of the time really mean if it’s ok for them to see their exes and play it cool with very secret hope of “winning” their ex back.

Now let’s figure out what do you really want. Do you want to be happy? Then you should remember that life is about moving forward, not backwards. Do you want to scratch your ego? Some women spend tons of efforts and energy on getting ex back only to serve to their huge ego. Would those women reach happiness at the end?

When I’m asked if someone should remain friends with her ex, I usually ask back, “should you eat cakes three times a day to lose weight?” If your main goal to heal your broken heart, become happy and move forward toward real love you deserve, then being friends and seeing your ex will keep you stuck in the unresolved situation.

Personally I believe in friendship between exes only in very rare situations. The friendship is possible when both ex partners have no romantic feelings and/or sexual attraction. Instead, they would have many mutual interests. But if you still have feelings for your ex, then cut the communication and run away.

If you are the one who dumped your ex, then first of all I’m not sure how you ended up on this site and second of all it won’t be fair toward your ex. What means “friendship” for you, might mean “false hope” for him.

Even in regular life I believe in friendship between man and woman only if there is no mutual attraction. If one person is secretly hopes to win another person over, it’s not exact definition of friendship. As a wise man told me once, “The friendship between man and woman is called a relationship…and if the friendship is becoming too strong, then it gets upgraded to marriage.” I agree with that man, but again, it’s my personal opinion plus lots and lots of experience (mine as well as my clients)

There is a little “friendship story.” I’ll call people I’m going to talk about “The Guy” and “The Girl.” In the beginning they had a mutual friend, but then became friends in their own. When they met, they liked different people and had no chemistry what so ever. “He is a great guy, I wish I could feel something,” thought The Girl who was so much into another, emotionally unavailable guy.

The Guy and The Girl spent lots of time together and even went on a trip. They were happy, enjoyed and respected each other’s company, shared secrets, discussed their dates, laughed a lot, called each other any time they wanted, went out almost every weekend…till one time the guy made a move.

To make long story short…they had sex. Then they started to date because they hoped the situation to work out.  Then they broke up because in reality they still both liked different people. The break up was painful, and they never could be friends again.

 

Of course, each particular situation is different and there are no general opinions and rules. However, if you would like to quit smoking it’s better not to carry cigarettes. If you want to heal your broken heart is safer to stay away from your ex. If he’s “the one” for you, he wouldn’t be called your ex by now, would he?”