Bad Break Up

“We had a very bad break up, how could I fix it?” is a very common question. Please don’t trick yourself with the addicting word, “bad”. Just face the fact that your relationship just ended.

 What if you had a good break up? Imagine that your man who you spent a few years with you and who you loved to death invited you to a five start restaurant, giving you a present and saying, “you are the most beautiful and smart woman I’ve ever met, goodbye forever.” And you would answer “Thank you for the beautiful dinner, goodbye” and leave with a smile. Now that is what I call a happy end.

Well, I’m sure a “bad break up” for you means at least a couple of scratches on his face, throwing a few dozen items at him, a couple hundred curses, and a at least a thousand uses of the same words during “girls night out” describing his behavior and personality.

Now, stop blaming yourself and him for a second. You broke up. The end. This is not the end of your world, but the beginning of a new chapter in your life. Personally, I love break-ups. Not that I’m enjoying them as an activity, but I like to remove sad feelings and feel excited about the near future and a figurative new life. As soon as you emotionally clean up the space, something better will show up.

The end of an old relationship means a new and better relationship. While reading this, you might become angry and sarcastic. You might  say “what is she talking about, he was my only chance because he is…blah blah blah.: Yes, if you will become negative, angry, non exceptive, self destructive, and a mean witch who can’t look at a happy couple, then I agree. You will continue to swim in an ocean of pity and negativity and there will be no future.

I keep repeating this phrase in each and every article on purpose. Like attracts like! That’s why, first of all, you have to stop using the word, “bad”. If you weren’t civil during the break up, it means that you need to do some work on your personality. And if you are serious about going towards happiness and meeting your true soulmate, then you will work on yourself.

 But now your main goal is to get over the break up. And the first thing you’ll do is stop using word, “bad”. Time cures everything. You never know, maybe in six months you’ll see the person who you hit with a frying pan yesterday. You might be already wearing an engagement ring, you’ll apologize, and you both will laugh.

As soon as you stop using word, “bad”, you have to accept that a “break up” happened and it’s something you have to live with. Trust me, a break up isn’t any worse than an earthquake, immigration, or death. Many people live with those events and learn how be become happy again. If they could, you can too, it’s just a question of what you want. Being happy is a constant work, but it gives you happiness and joy. Being miserable is easy, but…you’ll be miserable.

The bottom line is that it does not matter what label your break up has. It happened and you have to become constructive.

Here are 5 things that you need to do in order not to feel bad about a “bad break up”

1)   A break up is a break up and the labels, “good” and “bad”, won’t bring back your love.

2)   Nothing lasts forever in this world.

3)   You have to accept the fact that the break up took place. Acceptance will help you move on.

4)   Even you didn’t behave like a lady, just forgive yourself. Learn your lesson and never repeat it again.

5)   Every circumstance means different things for different people. For someone, “bad” means not getting a goodbye kiss and for someone else, “bad” means getting drunk and almost killing an ex. Just let it go. Life will straighten everything up, this is the purpose of life…

How To Break Up

There are two view points on how to break up: from the person who initiates the break up and from the person who is dumped. Doesn’t matter which side you were…because a break up is…Great!

Reasons why a Break Up is a good thing:

1)    Do you like traveling? Who doesn’t? You can see your break up as an opportunity to travel in your life – you’ll see new people, new opportunities, and new places. If your relationships are broken – look at them as a dirty, neglected house you would like to renovate.
2)    Even if you are the most gorgeous woman at the world – there is always field for improvement. Nothing is more attractive than a woman who loves herself. The break up period is the best time to fall in love with yourself and enjoy your freedom.
3)    A Break up is not an end – it’s a new beginning. But it’s a beginning of something better. Look at the break up like pulling wisdom teeth – you will be scared to do it, then you’ll feel terrible after the procedure, but eventually you’ll feel great and look better.
Now, let’s get back on “How To Break Up”

If the break up is HIS idea

1)    Break up like a Lady – do not raise your voice, cry, pull out your gun, or throw your favorite china at him – he doesn’t deserve it.

2)    Just look at him, give the best Hollywood smile you can imagine and say “Thank you, it’s a great idea, I was thinking the same”.

3)   Then  Leave with the happiest look at your face.

4)    I do not suggest to cry, drink, eat all your ice cream and chocolate, send press release to all friends, family members, etc. You can do some of that but very quickly – you will have better things to do shortly.

5)    Commit to not answering his calls, emails, etc. for one month (if you commit for more – you’ll fail, I’ll explain to you later why it’s important)

If the break up is YOUR idea:

1)    Do not break up with him via text message or email – if you had any sort of relationship, then he deserves at least a phone call.

2)    Do not go into long explanations and give multiple reasons – just say “unfortunately, at this stage of my life I cannot be your girlfriend.”

3)    Do not feel guilty – you have only one life and can spend it the way you want.

4)    Do not tell him “let’s be friends” because he will “agree” with a hidden thought that you’ll come back.

5)    Do not agree on “good bye sex.”

Ending Relationships – 10 Signs That It’s a Great Idea

1) When you say “I love you, but I’m not in love” and you actually mean “I don’t want to hurt you, but if I could wake up tomorrow and instead of you see somebody who would make my heart jump”

2) When you don’t care if your legs are shaved, nails are done and roots are colored before your date.

3) When you envy your single girlfriend (friend) when she/ he is getting ready for the “girls/ boys night out”

4) When while telling your best friend about yesterday’s “romantic dinner” you spent 98% of the time describing the menu.

5) When sex can be easily substituted with gym workout (and especially with a cute instructor)

6) When 8 times out of 10 you let the voice mail to pick up

7) When you sit with him/her, imagine that him/her, you and your mutual baby sits with you and you feel claustrophobic and depressed.

When his snoring doesn’t’ sound “cute” anymore.

9) When you prefer an earthquake over meeting his/her family

10) When his/her touches, kisses and hugs prevent you from enjoying the movie

Then this is the right time for Ending Relationships