25 Broken Heart Quotes
1. Your heart should be so big and flexible that you would be able to give a part of it away without any regrets or tears, and then be able to love next time even more. – Erica Nevis
2. You don’t die from a broken heart…you only wish you did – Anonymous
3. I broke up with someone, and she said, “You’ll never find anyone like me again.” And I’m thinking, I hope not!…Does anybody end a bad relationship and say, “By the way, do you have a twin?” —Larry Miller
4. YOUR HEART IS AS BROKEN AS YOU ALLOW IT TO BE (Erica Nevis)
5. Don’t cry over someone that won’t cry over you. Anonymous
6. Forget who hurt you yesterday, But don’t forget who loves you tenderly today. – Anonymous
7. Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together Anonymous
8. It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.- Alfred Lord Tennyson
9. Hearts will never be made practical until they are made unbreakable. – Tinman (Wizard of Oz)
10. The hottest love has the coldest end.– Socrates
11. If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it. – Anonymous
12. Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.
Marcus Aurelius
13. The stupidest mistake in life is thinking the one who hurt you the most, won’t hurt you again. – Anonymous
14. Loving someone that doesn’t love you is like reaching for a star – You know you’ll never reach it but you just got to keep trying. Anonymous
15. If you find yourself in love with a person who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn’t choose to rest in the other person’s heart. Anonymous
16. He gave me nothing, and he took it with him when he left. Anonymous
17. Every happy couple has at least one breakup behind them – Anonymous
18. Our lives are shaped by those who love us and by those who refuse to love us. Anonymous
19. If breakups never existed the music industry would go bankrupt. Anonymous
20. We all shall pass through this life but only once. Let us enjoy today, as we shall not pass this way again Anonymous
21. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to who you open you heart to. Anonymous
22. Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. ” Anonymous
23. A woman is only destined to have her heart broken if she hands it over to someone too weak, too careless, or too distracted to hang on to it. Anonymous
24. A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses. Anonymous
25. No Guy Is Worth Your Tears & When You Find The One That Is He Won’t Make You Cry” Anonymous
From Broken Heart to Happy End with Erica Nevis!
Live Makeover
There is no better time for your life makeover then when you heart is broken! End of relationships is a new beginning. So why not substitute a period we expect to be painful with fun times that will create new you, new life and eventually attract new better love?
It might sound as a bad joke at the moment, but it will pay off in the long run. I’m sure you might be great in other areas of your life such as career, family, your look, social life and hobbies. However, I doubt it. Why? Because a broken heart usually affects women so hard that all other areas of life tend to go wrong too.
When you are in love, you have so much positive energy that people around you sense it. You get promoted or hired, your business is booming, invitations for events are following you, extra pounds drop off almost automatically and all your personality shines….
When your heart is broken, the only thing you really would like to do is cry. You are depressed and accumulate negative energy that attracts all negative events – you fight with family, feel too sad to go out, fail in your work or school projects and the like because you can’t concentrate on anything else but your break up.
Let’s see what can be improved.
1) Your Look – the better you look, the better you feel about yourself. And when you totally enjoy what you see in the mirror, your reflection becomes a magnet…for new people, circumstances and events. If you are already beautiful, you can still look much better. I don’t believe that ugly women exist…I believe that there are women who refuse to be beautiful because it requires lots dedication and time. And, please, don’t blame the economy…you don’t have to spend any money to look ten times better. Of course, if you have extra money it helps, but I personally know women who turn their looks around while on unemployment.
2) Your Family – there are people who love you and care about you, but who you selfishly neglected because…you are too busy, too tired, too much in love, too miserably broken hearted etc…
There is a little parable. “A fairy asks a woman what she would do if she found out that she has one year to live? “I’d put my will together, straighten up business, put together the list of things I always wanted to do and just did them”. “Ok”, Fairy answered, “what if you had one month to live?” “I’d remembered all beautiful moments I had and tried to get as many beautiful moments as I could”. “Great”, the fairy said, “And what if you had one day to live?” “I’d pick up my phone, call my family and say how much I love them and care about them. I’d tell them how many times I just forget about them because I was too selfish to remember”… The moral of this story: Why wait till your last day? Why don’t you pick up your phone and say ‘I love you” to people who really deserve it now!
3) Your Career
Are you as successful as you could be? Do you have a dream job or you were too busy swimming in thoughts and memories of your dysfunctional relationships? Now is a great time to evaluate what you really have. I’m sure that no matter how great things are, you always can do better. So drop your sad thoughts and get busy with your resume, get more clients, go for promotion or finish those projects you were neglecting for a long time. The more successful you will be, the more successful men you’ll attract in the future.
4) Your social life
Where have you been since you met your man? I’m sure that the most events you attended with him. Or even if you went somewhere by yourself, all your attention was on your phone and you kept your “eyes closed for meeting new people.” Each and every event can bring you new connections that can lead to meeting a new, better mate. You never know what gift life has for you. So, put your “social calendar” together and stop saying “no,” “I’m busy,” “I’m tired” and “I’ll go another time”. Get dressed; pull together all positive energy you have left after break up, smile and go!
Those are only 4 areas of your life you can improve now. But you know better what else you wanted to do with your life. Take time for yourself, get out of a shell and start fully living your life!
Get Over Ex
As much as you tend to look up for the article “how to get your ex back”, I suggest sticking with the “get over your ex” routine!
I know one man who was the most mind twisted player I’ve ever met. Nobody thought that he would ever have a family (or even a long term girlfriend). Recently he got married.
I was very curious and called him asking him, “How?” His answer surprised me a lot…”Dating is like gambling; as soon as you start losing, just get up and leave the table and as soon as you hit jackpot, you’ll hear the sound and get all money. I hit a jackpot, my wife is the one. I wasn’t playing, I was just actively looking.” “Is she one of the multiple girls you went out with?” I asked him. “No, men don’t really like to go back…unless it’s for sex,” he answered with a smile.
If you call a man “my ex” it means that that relationship is over. It means it just didn’t work out. You can read all the “how to get a man” books, lose 20 pounds, get a “Hollywood smile”, learn Thai massage, belly dancing, Italian cooking and…it won’t work even if you‘ll have another chance with the same man. Don’t get me wrong, you really can get your ex back (it’s possible, it’s doable but it is not worth the efforts because if something didn’t work out once, it won’t work out again).
Here is a checklist of things that needs to be done in order to GET OVER YOUR EX:
1) Switch your focus from him to yourself. Trust me if he deserved your attention, you deserve it even more. Promise yourself to focus on yourself for one month. I’m not talking about becoming selfish. I suggest you pay yourself the attention that you haven’t had since you met your former “prince charming.”
2) List all the areas of your life on a piece of paper (except your private life): appearance, work, social life, personal interests, family, friends, etc. Decide what needs improvement
3) Create a tight schedule for one month for all activities that had been missing and stick to it. Make yourself absolutely busy.
4) Do not go on dates with any man for at least for 30 days. Yes, not casual dates, booty calls with other exes, no one night desperate stands. Nothing (there is an explanation in my book of why you should avoid it).
5) Do not communicate with your ex for 30 days (even if he calls you and says that he realized all his mistakes and waiting for you on his knee with a ring).
Being attached to your ex is completely in your head and in your soul. You have to save all your valuable energy that you send in his direction, refocus, and do something productive and good for yourself.
If you think realistically when you think about your ex, you just marinade your past feelings that felt good before. This condition is dangerous for you because it’s addictive and you don’t want to be stuck in this for a long period of time.
Thinking of your ex won’t make you feel positive because the relationship is over and you can’t afford to feel negative. Why? Again, as I write in each and every article, because like attracts like and you need to bring positive people and events back into your life.
So follow the directions on the way to a new, happy, and exciting life. Do you want to have true love? Do you want someone really great and right for you to tell you the magical words “I love you, babe?” If so then you have to live for a while being that “babe.” Trust me, change your feelings and the situation will turn around as soon as you get over ex!
Friends With Ex
“Can I remain friends with my ex? ”
Well, you can do whatever you would like to do after break up because you have only one life and it’s your choice how to live your life after the end of relationships.
But please, don’t trick yourself. Asking about being friends with your ex, women most of the time really mean if it’s ok for them to see their exes and play it cool with very secret hope of “winning” their ex back.
Now let’s figure out what do you really want. Do you want to be happy? Then you should remember that life is about moving forward, not backwards. Do you want to scratch your ego? Some women spend tons of efforts and energy on getting ex back only to serve to their huge ego. Would those women reach happiness at the end?
When I’m asked if someone should remain friends with her ex, I usually ask back, “should you eat cakes three times a day to lose weight?” If your main goal to heal your broken heart, become happy and move forward toward real love you deserve, then being friends and seeing your ex will keep you stuck in the unresolved situation.
Personally I believe in friendship between exes only in very rare situations. The friendship is possible when both ex partners have no romantic feelings and/or sexual attraction. Instead, they would have many mutual interests. But if you still have feelings for your ex, then cut the communication and run away.
If you are the one who dumped your ex, then first of all I’m not sure how you ended up on this site and second of all it won’t be fair toward your ex. What means “friendship” for you, might mean “false hope” for him.
Even in regular life I believe in friendship between man and woman only if there is no mutual attraction. If one person is secretly hopes to win another person over, it’s not exact definition of friendship. As a wise man told me once, “The friendship between man and woman is called a relationship…and if the friendship is becoming too strong, then it gets upgraded to marriage.” I agree with that man, but again, it’s my personal opinion plus lots and lots of experience (mine as well as my clients)
There is a little “friendship story.” I’ll call people I’m going to talk about “The Guy” and “The Girl.” In the beginning they had a mutual friend, but then became friends in their own. When they met, they liked different people and had no chemistry what so ever. “He is a great guy, I wish I could feel something,” thought The Girl who was so much into another, emotionally unavailable guy.
The Guy and The Girl spent lots of time together and even went on a trip. They were happy, enjoyed and respected each other’s company, shared secrets, discussed their dates, laughed a lot, called each other any time they wanted, went out almost every weekend…till one time the guy made a move.
To make long story short…they had sex. Then they started to date because they hoped the situation to work out. Then they broke up because in reality they still both liked different people. The break up was painful, and they never could be friends again.
Of course, each particular situation is different and there are no general opinions and rules. However, if you would like to quit smoking it’s better not to carry cigarettes. If you want to heal your broken heart is safer to stay away from your ex. If he’s “the one” for you, he wouldn’t be called your ex by now, would he?”
Bad Break Up
“We had a very bad break up, how could I fix it?” is a very common question. Please don’t trick yourself with the addicting word, “bad”. Just face the fact that your relationship just ended.
What if you had a good break up? Imagine that your man who you spent a few years with you and who you loved to death invited you to a five start restaurant, giving you a present and saying, “you are the most beautiful and smart woman I’ve ever met, goodbye forever.” And you would answer “Thank you for the beautiful dinner, goodbye” and leave with a smile. Now that is what I call a happy end.
Well, I’m sure a “bad break up” for you means at least a couple of scratches on his face, throwing a few dozen items at him, a couple hundred curses, and a at least a thousand uses of the same words during “girls night out” describing his behavior and personality.
Now, stop blaming yourself and him for a second. You broke up. The end. This is not the end of your world, but the beginning of a new chapter in your life. Personally, I love break-ups. Not that I’m enjoying them as an activity, but I like to remove sad feelings and feel excited about the near future and a figurative new life. As soon as you emotionally clean up the space, something better will show up.
The end of an old relationship means a new and better relationship. While reading this, you might become angry and sarcastic. You might say “what is she talking about, he was my only chance because he is…blah blah blah.: Yes, if you will become negative, angry, non exceptive, self destructive, and a mean witch who can’t look at a happy couple, then I agree. You will continue to swim in an ocean of pity and negativity and there will be no future.
I keep repeating this phrase in each and every article on purpose. Like attracts like! That’s why, first of all, you have to stop using the word, “bad”. If you weren’t civil during the break up, it means that you need to do some work on your personality. And if you are serious about going towards happiness and meeting your true soulmate, then you will work on yourself.
But now your main goal is to get over the break up. And the first thing you’ll do is stop using word, “bad”. Time cures everything. You never know, maybe in six months you’ll see the person who you hit with a frying pan yesterday. You might be already wearing an engagement ring, you’ll apologize, and you both will laugh.
As soon as you stop using word, “bad”, you have to accept that a “break up” happened and it’s something you have to live with. Trust me, a break up isn’t any worse than an earthquake, immigration, or death. Many people live with those events and learn how be become happy again. If they could, you can too, it’s just a question of what you want. Being happy is a constant work, but it gives you happiness and joy. Being miserable is easy, but…you’ll be miserable.
The bottom line is that it does not matter what label your break up has. It happened and you have to become constructive.
Here are 5 things that you need to do in order not to feel bad about a “bad break up”
1) A break up is a break up and the labels, “good” and “bad”, won’t bring back your love.
2) Nothing lasts forever in this world.
3) You have to accept the fact that the break up took place. Acceptance will help you move on.
4) Even you didn’t behave like a lady, just forgive yourself. Learn your lesson and never repeat it again.
5) Every circumstance means different things for different people. For someone, “bad” means not getting a goodbye kiss and for someone else, “bad” means getting drunk and almost killing an ex. Just let it go. Life will straighten everything up, this is the purpose of life…
Mend Broken Heart – Good News, Read On
Has your heart just been broken…I have good news for you…it wasn’t your heart; it was that beautiful illusion that you created for yourself and believed in. It was a fairy tale inside your brain that you have been waiting to come true since you remember yourself being able to fall in love.
It feels good to create an illusion. According to the dictionary, illusion is “something many people believe in that is false”.
You think about the man who happens to be so different from all your other unfortunate experiences and in your own mind every day when he makes you feel good, you “make” him more and more attractive.
In a while, he becomes so perfect that you even can’t see him as real anymore. Plus, you absolutely do not want to face the reality; you like your own creation because it’s so close to that Prince Charming we all have been waiting for since preschool.
Did everything start with that intense click that was more like electricity between you two? And now you are sitting and thinking about the dozens of sweet, flirty, sexy text messages and phone calls you enjoyed so much.
Do you remember what happened to you when he said the words you have dreamed to hear for such a long time? And, of course, you lost your sense of reality right away…
Do you remember the feeling of relieve we women have when we realize that the dating game is over and we can have the relationships…real, normal, happy, and healthy relationships we are programmed to have…Our society, grandmothers, and mothers did a very destructive job by telling us that there is nothing more important than to “live happily ever after”…
However, let’s face the reality now (if you would like to move forward to real inner happiness you have to face it anyway). This great, amazing Prince Charming was created in your personal video game of imagination and all pain you feel now is because the “game is over.” Your illusion is broken, your ego is hurt, and your most hated dating game is still in the near future (unless you would like to give up forever).
Meeting a real man who would be everything we dreamed about is like using the aircraft for traveling – we all know that aircrafts exist but very few people actually were inside.
However, we can’t fight our female nature and kill the hope of complete happiness…We have to just…accept the situation, do a mental inventory, convince ourselves to move forward and…actually start moving.
You should not let your heart be broken. You have to train your heart 
and grow it so big that when a break up will occur (and nothing lasts forever in this life, remember?) you will be totally prepared to give up the piece of your heart to this man. You should be able to give him not only the part of your heart, but also a lot of your love without any regrets and hesitations.
When you will be able to do that, you’ll become wiser, better, and most importantly a more experienced person who would deserve to be loved more and more each time this happen. Then, eventually when you are truly and genuinely ready to love, to share, to give without being selfish, the Universe will send you the one…who will save you from that “dating game” for the rest of your life!
How To Break Up
There are two view points on how to break up: from the person who initiates the break up and from the person who is dumped. Doesn’t matter which side you were…because a break up is…Great!
Reasons why a Break Up is a good thing:
1) Do you like traveling? Who doesn’t? You can see your break up as an opportunity to travel in your life – you’ll see new people, new opportunities, and new places. If your relationships are broken – look at them as a dirty, neglected house you would like to renovate.
2) Even if you are the most gorgeous woman at the world – there is always field for improvement. Nothing is more attractive than a woman who loves herself. The break up period is the best time to fall in love with yourself and enjoy your freedom.
3) A Break up is not an end – it’s a new beginning. But it’s a beginning of something better. Look at the break up like pulling wisdom teeth – you will be scared to do it, then you’ll feel terrible after the procedure, but eventually you’ll feel great and look better.
Now, let’s get back on “How To Break Up”
If the break up is HIS idea
1) Break up like a Lady – do not raise your voice, cry, pull out your gun, or throw your favorite china at him – he doesn’t deserve it.
2) Just look at him, give the best Hollywood smile you can imagine and say “Thank you, it’s a great idea, I was thinking the same”.
3) Then Leave with the happiest look at your face.
4) I do not suggest to cry, drink, eat all your ice cream and chocolate, send press release to all friends, family members, etc. You can do some of that but very quickly – you will have better things to do shortly.
5) Commit to not answering his calls, emails, etc. for one month (if you commit for more – you’ll fail, I’ll explain to you later why it’s important)
If the break up is YOUR idea:
1) Do not break up with him via text message or email – if you had any sort of relationship, then he deserves at least a phone call.
2) Do not go into long explanations and give multiple reasons – just say “unfortunately, at this stage of my life I cannot be your girlfriend.”
3) Do not feel guilty – you have only one life and can spend it the way you want.
4) Do not tell him “let’s be friends” because he will “agree” with a hidden thought that you’ll come back.
5) Do not agree on “good bye sex.”
7 Reasons Why You Should NOT Get Ex Back
Chapter From ”WHY DID HE DUMP ME OR BROKEN HEART 911″ Book
Reason #1 – “Done it Once…”
If a person has done something to you once, he is going to do it again. People are programmed to operate a certain way.
If you are thinking I’m wrong and that that isn’t true, that maybe he just made a mistake, I can tell you without hesitation right here and now that whatever he did to you was not a mistake. It was his nature. It is who and what he is all about. If a guy cheats on you just once, it is not “by mistake.” Ok, maybe it was a mistake, as though it was too dark and he mixed you up with some other girl. Is that what you call a mistake?
I don’t care how many times he screams and shouts and swears to you that it’s never going to happen again. It is just not true. It will happen again AND again. Maybe not anytime soon, but it will happen again for sure.
If any guy lies to you once, he will lie to you again AND again.
If your man “disappears” for a day or a week just once, he will do it again. And there you are sitting and crying and sobbing a river of tears wondering where he went. “What did he do? Why is this happening to me?”
If he breaks up with you once, and you take him back, he will break up with you again. Are you a rug that men can walk all over with their dirty shoes?
These things happen to girls all the time. And just about every girl believes she is good enough and strong enough to get him to change. But you know what? Even if you think that you have broken his bad habits, and believe that he will change for you, there is a 99.99% likelihood he will do it all over again.
I can hear you shouting at me, saying “Erica, but I got him back and I swear he stopped doing that. He loves me, he is not cheating on me, he never lies…anymore, I mean.”
Fine, let’s say I believe you, because there is always a chance, like I said before.
However, it’s gonna take you a lot more than 21 days of hard work. Because to make it work out like you say, you really have to change your whole way of thinking and behaving, and adopt a whole new attitude. What I’m saying is that you just have to become a totally new person, and break away from the person he met back then: the person he screwed over.
One thing I can tell you for sure is this: change yourself and your whole world changes. “LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE.” What I’m saying is that if there is a guy you are just aching to be with, you have to understand that by feeling and acting the same old way, you have made it impossible for yourself to ever be with him. In order to turn that situation around and make it work, or at least give yourself the best chance for it to work, you are just going to have to change.
I know this may strike you as confusing but once you become a “different person,” you probably won’t be interested in this guy you are dying to be with. And you know why? Because he will not excite the NEW YOU.
One of my clients had a long distance relationship and hadn’t seen her ex boyfriend in over eight months. She kept going on and on, telling me she couldn’t get him out of her mind.
I kept telling her that she had to forget him and get on with her life. She refused and asked me why. I told her “It’s because the guy who left you represents who you were the moment you met him. And that was well over a year ago.” I told her that she had changed but he hadn’t, and that he would always be the same.
Let me explain what I’m talking about because you might not be familiar with this concept.
Every man you met represents you at the moment you meet him. He is the reflection of your inner self. If you want only money, life might send you a heartless millionaire who can provide you with financial resources. And when you honestly fall for him, and ask why he is not able to love you back, brace yourself for the answer – it’s because of the money you wanted so much in the first place. If you wanted sex at that moment, life would have sent you a sex machine to satisfy you.
LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE! If you succeed in getting him back into your life, strap on your seat belt because now your life will be an emotional roller coaster with more ups and downs than the stock market.
Every person in our lives is there for a reason. They teach us things at particular times in our growth as human beings.
If today you met your best friend for the very first time (the same best friend you met in reality ten years ago) you may not have anything in common – you may not even like each other. Why? Because today, you are not the same person you were ten years ago when you met your best friend and you needed him and he needed you, and you gave each other what needed to be given.
Reason #2 – Don’t look for the future in your past, the future is in the future.
Girls, I know exactly how it feels: that your future is empty and meaningless without Him. Do all of the following things, and it will make your life better:
Convince yourself that you are on a strict diet and think of him as a craving.
If you are like me then you know that the first days of a diet are always the most difficult because we desperately crave something we should not have – like ice cream, chocolate or French fries. But if we stay strong for a few days, we can get used to living without those desperate cravings of ours. The latest studies prove that the cravings we have in our minds last for only five minutes, so if we can stay strong and get over those cravings, they will go away.
If you think of him as a “craving” and remember that all cravings disappear after just 5 minutes of will power, you will survive and be a stronger person for it.
Like every diet, sometimes it gets too hard dealing with your cravings. So when your craving for him becomes overwhelming just promise yourself that in six months you will allow yourself a little piece of HIM – what I mean is that all you need to satisfy this deep rooted craving is a phone call to hear his voice live or on his answering machine. You will feel so much better for these two reasons:
1) You CAN handle your cravings- Congratulations! This is a tremendous accomplishment in your life. You are on your way to recovery.
2) By the time six months has rolled around and you make that phone call, you might not even need him anymore. You might have lost ten pounds and look great, you might have a new job, you might have met a new man, a new TRUE LOVE.
He is the one who has lost YOU. It is not the other way around!
Every life is precious. Every person has good inside of them. Every person wants to be liked, and every person not only wants to be loved, but NEEDS LOVE.
Remember that yesterday is gone and that he is part of the past. You know how much you loved him, you remember all those things you did for him and how much it hurt to know that he walked out on you and may already be with somebody else. Pity the poor girl who ends up with the man who walked out on you.
You are a beautiful person even if you have made some mistakes, and have been a poor judge of character. We are only human.
Reason #3 – Remember the Beauty of the Broken Vase.
When you break a vase, you gather all the pieces together and glue them back in place like a puzzle. But as soon as you pour water into the vase, it will start leaking. A broken relationship is just like a broken vase.
Reason #4 – Your relationship was not a waste. You were in training, but didn’t know that at the time.
Just as we learn from every person in our life, we also learn something from every event that transpires. Life’s lessons are taught to us every day. We may not recognize what we are learning at that particular moment and time, but make no mistake about it: We are always learning.
When you go to a restaurant and a waiter brings your steak in a skillet, and tells you not to touch the plate because it’s hot, you touch it anyway and burn your finger and scream, “That IS hot!” Why did you touch it after you were told not to? There could be several reasons. Maybe you didn’t believe him. Maybe you wanted to see just how hot it really was. The point is this – you learned something from the experience.
The expression EVERYTHING THAT DOESN’T KILL US MAKES US STRONGER is true.
Accept the fact that the time you spent in the relationship that ended abruptly taught you more things than you can ever imagine about your man in particular, men in general, and about the type of woman you really are.
You will never forget that look on his face and the words he spoke that made you cry. You will never let any man treat you the same way again because you have learned about who you are from the relationship that you just had.
The entire time you were with him, you thought you had found a boyfriend, but what you really found was a treadmill for your soul. He was exercise equipment and nothing more. Now that he is gone and it is over between two of you, you can look back on this episode as having been a wonderful training lesson to prepare you for your ONE TRUE LOVE, who you have not yet met. Your soul will be better prepared next time. All the tears you cried over him were a down payment on the longer lasting and loving relationship that you deserve.
Reason #5 – What the hell did you fall in love with anyway?
When did Prince Charming become selfish, cruel, mean and disrespectful to you? When did you start blaming yourself for the misery he was causing you? He made you feel as though your problems with him were your fault. He brainwashed you into believing what he wanted you to believe about him – that he was a nice, generous, kind, funny and loving man who could never hurt you.
This doesn’t mean that you were a stupid person. You were just a woman with a warm heart and open arms wanting to love a man and to be loved for who you are.
Have you ever bought yourself something expensive – like a new car or a diamond ring? Remember how those sales people treated you the minute you walked through their door? They were ready to kiss your feet, but you made them to kiss your ass to make a sale.
As soon as you handed over your money, the sale was completed and out the door you went, and wham, they could not care less about you. Of course, not all sales people are so cold. Some would provide you with their best service for as long as you own that car or wear your diamond ring.
Were you getting the “best service” from your boyfriend? Or was your Prince Charming occasionally offering his Monthly Special, like dinner and a movie on the last Saturday of the month? The Monster who spent the other thirty days the month with you was revealing his true character to you the entire time you were together but you refused to trust your instincts that told you something was wrong with him.
What do you want from a man? A Monster for thirty days and a Prince Charming for 24 hours? Don’t you deserve Prince Charming each and every day of your life?
If you want that Monster, then be my guest. You can stop reading now. You can always read this later after he breaks your heart all over again.
Reason #6 – Your efforts and energy…do they have any value?
I remember waking up on Valentines Day crying my eyes out. I was talking out loud through my tears, saying “How did this happen to me? What kind of a man he is anyway?” I called my healer and adviser, telling him about all of these “love attacks” that made me dial my beloved ex boyfriend’s number, trying to get him on the line just to tell him about what he did to me and how he toe my heart out.
I asked my healer what I should do when my heart is squeezed like an orange and all my “happy life juice” is draining out me. I told him I spent so much of my time trying to fight those attacks, desperately wanting to forget about my love, but I just spent hours and hours crying until I was so exhausted that I couldn’t do anything for myself. I felt useless and depressed, and it took me days to put myself back together.
This is what my healer said: “Erica, calm down.” He told me to “get a class of water, sip it slowly and just listen to me.”
Then he said, “Erica, you remind me of a person who spends all day long making mess around her beautiful house and then cleaning up all of the mess. That person is so busy producing mess and then cleaning it all up that she does not have time to live her life, she has no time to sleep either, and sleeping well is very important for healthy life.”
“Erica, if you remain this dedicated to making mess all day and all night, you will never have time for your son, for your family, for your friends, you won’t be able to do your job, you will never to have time to make new friends, to meet a new boyfriend who will love you and to achieve all your big dreams.”
That was the moment that I literally opened my eyes. He was so right. Why was I wasting all of my valuable time and energy chasing after this Monster who didn’t give a shit about me, just to explain to him how much I love him?
Honestly girls, I stopped crying immediately. All of a sudden, I realized that I had been neglecting so many things that were much more important. I have never wasted my efforts since. And neither should you.
Reason #7 – Getting revenge! Is it worth the effort?
So many girls I’ve spoken to just wanted to get back with the ex boyfriend to prove to him that he was totally wrong about breaking up.
Of course, a lot of girls said that they wanted to teach him a lesson. And almost everyone let me know that they had this little thought flashing inside their heads: “Wouldn’t it be great if he came back to me and was able to see a much more beautiful and successful and extra confident woman then I was before he left me? Wouldn’t it be great just to give him special fancy date and then dump him, just like he did to me?”
Let’s face it, we have all shared the same thought and there is nothing to be ashamed about. After all, we are just people with weaknesses. It’s a good thing that you are able to recognize these thoughts because it’s an important part of the process to recognize the state your mind is in after what he put you through. Many girls refuse to admit having these thoughts and temptations. Ladies, it is essential to the healing process to always say NO to your desire to get back with him. And if you need to know why this is an absolute condition for moving on with your life, then re-read Rule #6.
If you use your valuable time and energy just to get him back and then dump him, I swear, all you will feel in the end is more sadness, deep depression, stress beyond belief and emptiness that will make you sick.
Mend Broken Heart – What Needs To Be Done?
Remember, YOUR HEART IS AS BROKEN AS YOU LET IT BE!
Have you ever thought about what EXACTLY “Mending a Broken Heart” means?
It’s very simpe. Think about what healing a broken leg means. Does it mean you can run again, wear beautiful hills, and have pedi with flowers? You don’t have to take painkilles, use a walker, and feel bad. You are almost there. This would be a RESULT of healing your broken leg. What would the processe? Well, to visit the doctor, place a cast, go through a healing rotine, and then start walking…slow, then faster, and only then run, dance in hills, and and wear the most seductive toe designs.
The same principles apply to mending a broken heart. Do you want to feel happy, enjoy every minute of your life, forget about a painful experience, meet your true love, and live happily ever after? Those are RESULTS. But in order to get your results, you have to go through the PROCESS of Mending a Broken Heart.
What needs to be done in order to Mend a Broken Heart?
1) You have to realize that you REALLY want to mend your broken heart. Do not smile sarcastically – I know people who just enjoy swimming in their misery because they get tons of attention this way. Their frends and family suddenly call them more often, bring them gifts, take them out, etc. As a result, a heart-broken person suddenly gets showered with attention and even though she says that she “wants to get over it”, subconciosly she does everything to stay where she is.
2) You have to accept the fact that healing your broken heart is a process. It won’t happen overnight and will require your own work. You can have all the guidance in the world, but you have to do your work yourself. It’s like losing weight. You have to hire a personal trainer and a nutritionist, but YOU are the one who has to go on a diet and exercise.
3) You have to stop listening to “experts” who suggests that giving yourself a little time to cry, miss your ex, and eat comfort food for a while is ok. They use this trick to keep your attention because it will make you feel not guilty as well as give you an extra excuse to keep waisting your time.
4) You have to stop discussing your break up with friends and family because it brings you back to negative mood.
5) You have to stop doing everything that makes you think about your former love; watch love movies, listen to romantic music etc. You should figure out what brings you positive emotions and stick to this. If it’s comedy movies – watch them every day.
6) And the most important thing you have to understand is like attracts like – in order for you to get positive events in your life you have to find positive things in EVERYTHING that is going on in your life as well as in EVERYBODY who surrounds you. You have to accept the world the way it is and stop willing to change it.
I went through series of break ups till I figured out the formula that really works but the most significant case of broken heart took about 3 years to heal. Now two weeks is enough to move forward and accept the situation as a great experience. Remember, the more positive you will be, the better surprises life will bring to you. And guess what? The person who broke your heart is not your true love, he is just “training equipment” that you used in order to meet YOUR REAL TRUE LOVE.
